Baby Fever

Ok.  Baby Fever has hit and is in full force.  I have been dealing with bouts of baby fever every few months – but this last time, it just isn’t going away.  I think it is because I finally decided that I’m NOT going to be getting another shot in Feb/March and that we are just going to let whatever happens happen.  I know that my doctor advised not to try until my tumor has been in remission for 2 years, and I really want to listen to his advice, but I’m going crazy here.  I do NOT want my kids to be 5 years apart – AND it took almost a year to get pregnant the last time, so that could very well happen again.  I’m going to be trusting in God and he will let me get pregnant if that is what is in his will at that time.  So – I’m not going to stress this anymore.  I hope that I get pg sometime this summer so that I have a early spring baby, but we all know that our plans don’t always occur as we would like them to.  So, I’m just going to go with the flow.  Of course, now that I have decided to NOT get the next shot, my baby fever kicked in BIG TIME.  Only issue that I stress is having 2 kids in daycare for about a year, which is very expensive, but hopefully we can manage it. 

Another reason why I really want to go ahead and do this, is what if we do decide to have a 3rd baby.  At this point, I think we have decided that 2 will be enough, but if we change our minds, I would still like to be under 33 when having the 3rd.  My goal used to be that I wanted to be through having kids by 30, but that isn’t going to happen.   

Now that I have made up my mind – I have to set some goals.  Well, really ONE major goal.  To lose 20-25 lbs before getting pregnant.  I don’t want to be over 200 lbs this time, so if I lose that much, I should be in a good weight range to where I can gain a decent amount of weight and not go over.  

Christmas Morning

Before:

Look at all the goodies that Santa brought!  He brought a ton of Little People goodies - including a train set, fire truck, air plane and minivan (all which make lots of noise).  A ton of books, mostly Mickey, Dora and Blues Clues.  A cool Mickey Mouse bowling set, a Cars/Hot wheels ramp, and cool wooden house that has balls that go down from level to level, a cars book bag, a scooby doo chair, a basket of fake food, and the loudest toy of all - a little pretend steering wheel.  Peyton has shown NO favoritism at all - as he has played with everything over and over.  We have been having to clean up the living room OVER and OVER - and we do it while singing the 'cleanup song'.

As you can see - Peyton went straight for the plastic food.  Ironic.  As Eric and I spent much of December arguing over getting Peyton a kitchen.  He would have so much fun with a kitchen!!!  Of course, we settled the argument by getting him a workshop instead...but I'm NOT giving up on the kitchen. 

After:

And this after picture does not do this mess justice.  Toys were EVERYWHERE.  Ever toy that had parts that 'went together' had been taken apart, food was ALL over the living room (as was the bowling set).  Books everywhere.  Notice that nothing is in the original spot.  Of course, this is the fun in Christmas Morning.

December in a nutshell

Well, I can't believe that Christmas was just two days ago.  The last few weeks have been so hectic, that I'm probably considered a Grinch to be happy that it is over.  I love spending all the time with family - but the last 2 weeks have been so jam-packed that I'm ready to relax some.  Of course, I've had a migraine for the last two days - so relaxing hasn't been all that easy.  Oh, and I think I gained about 10 pounds this month - and if I think about that too hard, I think I might cry.  I can tell that I will struggle with weight for the rest of my life - but that is a post for another day.

I did this 'calendar recap' for my December Daily project.  Thought I would post it here as well...

1 – Paula’s first chemo treatment

6 – SEC Championship Game

7 – Christmas Play at Church

13 – 12:00 Christmas at GG’s

    2:00 Michaela’s 5^th Birthday

    5:00 Sunday School Christmas Party

14 – Falcons vs. Bucs (Home Game)

    2:00 - Dilyn and CJ Party (cancelled)

    6:00 Dixie Echos Concert at Church

19 – Scrapbook Night at Church

20 – Christmas for Mom's side in Adel, GA

21 – Christmas at Eric's Parents

    *Falcon’s Make the playoffs

22 – Paula’s 2^nd Chemo Treatment

    Dad comes into town

24 – 2:00 Christmas with Dad's side

    5:00 Candlelight Christmas Eve Service

25 – 7:00am Santa has come – Peyton gets gifts

12ish – Christmas with Eric's side

What a night

All I can say is Peyton BETTER sleep in this morning.  Last night was Christmas Eve, which meant that we had to stay up late (for obvious reasons).  I was still planning to be in bed by 10:30ish though.  But Peyton would NOT go to sleep.  We went to bed at 8:30 like always, but at 9:30 he was still wide awake and I was on the verge of going crazy - so we got up for about 15-20m and then tried again.  He finally went to sleep around 10:30, but by this time Eric and I had fallen asleep too.  So I woke up around 11:15 and woke Eric up to do what we needed to do.  We were not very friendly or happy to be up by that time.  Luckily most of the toys and things were already put together and NOT in packages (since most of the stuff was bought 2nd hand).

Right now, I have the video camera (which we do NOT use enough) set up and ready to go for when Peyton wakes up.

We went to the candlelight service at church last night, it was pretty good.  Something about the whole church being dark and the only light being the candle light - it was so pretty.  We almost missed the service b/c when we got there we didn't realize that they wouldn't have then nursery open, and expecting Peyton to sit for an hour would be an impossible feat...but I called my dad and he came to the church and took Peyton home, and we go to enjoy the service.  We got home just in time for Dad to then leave to get to the church service he was going to go to.

And speaking of church - the preacher called all the children to the front during the service to give them Candy Canes and he told them the story of the candy cane.  I had never heard the story of the candy cane - i thought it was very interesting.  I found this online, and it is very similar to what he talked with the children about last night.

Legend has it that in the 18th Century somewhere in Europe any public display of Christianity was forbidden. No crosses or Bibles were allowed and the Christians were greatly oppressed. One old man, a candy maker by profession, was particularly distressed by this. He loved the Lord with all of his heart and couldn't stand to not share that love with the world. His heart especially went out to the children when Christmas drew near and no one was allowed to have a nativity scene (or crèche`) on display in their homes. He prayed for God to show him some way to make Christmas gifts for the children which would teach them the story of Christ.

The answer was the candy cane. The candy cane was in the shape of a shepherd's staff to show them  Jesus is our Shepherd and we are His flock. A sheep follows his own shepherd, knows his voice, and trusts him and knows that he is totally safe with him. The sheep will follow no other shepherd but their own. This is how we are to be with Jesus if we truly follow Him ( John 10:11; Psalm 23:1; Isaiah 40:11)
Upside down the candy cane was a "J", the first letter of Jesus' name. ( Luke 1:31) It was made of hard candy to remind us that Christ is the rock of our salvation. The wide red stripes on the candy cane were to represent the blood He shed on the cross for each one of us so that we can have eternal life through Him. He redeems us and cleanses us with His shed blood - the only thing that can wash away our sin. ( Luke 22:20) . The white stripes on a candy cane represented the virgin birth, sinless life and purity of our Lord. He is the only human being who ever lived on this earth who never committed a single sin. Even though He was tempted just as we are, He never sinned. ( I Peter: 22) The three narrow red stripes on candy canes symbolized that by His stripes, or wounds, we are healed and the Trinity - the Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit. Before the crucifixion Jesus was beaten; the crown of thorns was placed on His head; His back was raw from the whip. We are healed by those wounds. He bore our sorrows and by His stripes we are healed. ( Isaiah 53:3)  The flavoring in the candy cane was peppermint, which is similar to hyssop. Hyssop is of the mint family and was used in Old Testament times for purification and sacrifice just as Jesus sacrificed His life for ours. ( John 19:29; Psalm 51:7)

The old candy maker told them that when we break our candy cane it reminds us that Jesus' body was broken for us. When we have communion it is a reminder of what He did for us. ( I Cor. 11:24) If we share our candy cane and give some to someone else in love because we want to, it represents that same love of Jesus because He is to be shared with one another in love. ( I John 4:7,8) God gave Himself to us when He sent Jesus. He loved us so much He wants us to spend eternal life with Him... which we can do if we accept Jesus in our hearts as Savior and Lord. ( John 1:12; John 3:3,16) Some people believe this story of the candy cane is just a legend. Others believe it really happened. We do not know for sure exactly how the candy cane was invented, but there is one thing for certain... it is an excellent picture of Christ and His love for you.

Caught Up

Wow, as of right now, I'm caught up in my December Daily scrapbook project.  Of course, I will be behind again starting tomorrow - but that is ok.  I'm having a lot of fun doing this project.

Here are two of the layouts so far:

 

You can see all 14 days here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/peytonsmom/

December Daily Pt. 2

Day 7 - Sunday

We went to church at Eric's parents church because his dad was preaching.  Watched the Falcon's play, took a nap, went to our Church for the Christmas Musical - "An Unexpected Christmas".  Eric also had to go back to the ER because of chest pains - because he was just there on Wed they got him in really fast.  This time they took a chest X-Ray and discovered that he has a lung infection that is causing swelling - and that was causing some of the pain. 

Day 8 - Monday

Went to visit with Paula.  Eric took Paula to the doctor.  We went out to eat at El J's.  I had a migraine.   Monday night football.  Went to the church to work on the office computer...

Day 9 - Tuesday

Work.  We watched Tinkerbell the movie again.  Signed up for the Scrap ETC event!!!  It is in April and I'm so excited.  This will be the 3rd year I have gone.

Day 10 - Wednesday

Eric took his mom to the doctor again - then I met them afterwards for lunch.  It rained all day.  We went to church and a visiting preacher preached, and he was very good.  Good Message.  Got my new remote to my camera...should come in handy this Christmas - and maybe I'll be able to get in more pictures!

Day 11 - Thursday

Went shopping for more Christmas presents at lunch (it was payday).  Didn't find that one item we have been searching for.  Went to visit Paula after work, stayed for about a hour, then went to Walmart AND Target (in the rain) to look for that item, no luck.  Ended up buying it at Walmart.com.  Eric also took his mom to the doctor again, this time they discovered that her immune system was low (common for cancer patients on chemo) and she got a list of all these 'rules' she has to follow.  One being not going in public or around large groups of people.  She got a shot to boost her white blood cell count, she will get another one tomorrow.

Oh - and I fell in the bathroom at work.  Had to report it b/c I hit my bad shoulder when I fell on the wall pretty hard (trying to catch my fall).  All should be fine, but had to report it, go see the doctor, get an x-ray, fill out a ton of paperwork, etc. 

Day 12 - Friday

Went to visit with Eric's parents for a few hours and had dinner. Work was pretty much normal - but I did get my yearly evaluation back, and I will be getting a decent raise!  I'm very excited about that.  Eric took his mom to the doctor again, for her 2nd shot that is designed to get her white blood cell count up.  Hope it works.

Day 13 - Saturday

Today is going to be the busiest day of December I think.  We have my mom's side's Christmas, my niece's birthday party, a family picture AND the Christmas party at church for our Sunday School class.  Do you think we could have possibly fit more into one day???

Day 14 - Sunday

Church, Falcon's game (for Eric) and my 2 nephews birthday parties at the skating rink. 

 

So - this weekend is so packed that I've been sort of dreading it all week.  I hope Peyton does well both days - as I don't really see time for a nap on either day.  At least not his typical 2hr nap.  Wish me luck. Ha

December Daily

Well, it is December 7th and I'm just now getting around to working on days 1-7.  Bad!  This week has probably been one of the longest weeks ever.  Monday and Tuesday night we were at Eric's parents, we spent all of Wednesday in the ER (after an ambulance ride - geez), the Thurs and Friday I had to work over at work to make up for Wed, and Saturday I was at work for 4 hrs too.  Oh boy.  Here is my breakdown of that to put in the album.

 

1st - Monday

Had to tell Eric how bad his mother's cancer was.  Went to visit his mom.  Went to visit his brother to tell them.

2nd - Tuesday

Went to lunch with Emily.  Went to visit Eric's mom that night and the whole family was there to convince her to get a 2nd opinion (which she agreed to) and tell them that we want to know all the details.

3rd - Wednesday

Go into work early b/c I had an appt in Macon at lunch.  Got a call at 8:00 that Eric was having some problems, he went to the medstop - and I rushed to medstop to get Peyton.  Then as soon as I leave medstop w/Peyton to take him to Ms. C's (still thinking I'll make that appointment) - I get a call from the nurse saying he is being transported by ambulance to the hospital b/c  his heart rate is way too high and he was having chest pains.  Went to hospital, waited for like forever before they let me back there.  i was ready to just sneak in as soon as the next person opened the door - but apparently it took the ambulance WAY longer to get to the hospital than it did for me to get there.  Good thing he just had elevated heart rate - he wasn't having a heart attack.  although, he said he was more scared that anything.  He couldn't catch is breath - his heart was racing and 'jumping' at times.  Scary.  We were in the ER for 8hrs - then I had to bring him home, go get his medicines, etc.  I never stopped until around 8 when I crashed.

4th - Thursday

Worked 1.25 hrs over. Got my BC shot.  Ate taco bell for lunch (bad i know, but it is my favorite and I can't resist b/c my doctor's office is right near the taco bell).  Watched the Tinkerbell movie with Peyton and made chocolate chip cookies.

5th - Friday

Worked 1 hr over.  Spent 3 hrs in personnel trying to get my payroll stuff corrected.  They are trying to take money from me saying I was overpaid - AND I WAS NOT overpaid.  On, and the best thing EVER.  A clean garage.  Eric had worked just about ALL DAY and it looks just amazing.  I'm going to take pictures it is so clean!

6th - Saturday

Worked 4 hrs (5:30-9:30).  Came home, cleaned the living room, did some laundry...and then took a wonderful nap with Peyton (that didn't last long enough, but that is ok).  Went to Eric's parents to visit b/c his Grandfather was visiting.  Watched the SEC championship.  Florida won.  I didn't really care who won...however I was sort of going for Alabama.  Ate dinner with them.

7th - Sunday

Going to church with his parents because his dad is preaching this morning.  Tonight - I will go to our church for the Youth Christmas musical.  Falcon's game at 1:00.

Stage 4

Paula has Stage IV Ovarian Cancer, which has spread to her abdomen wall and lungs (and could be in more areas).  They are giving her 3-4 rounds of chemo to see if it stops the progress and maybe shrinks the cancer some - in an effort to prolong her life.  She could have a few as 3-6 months, or up to a few years, depending on the chemo treatments.  The survival rate at 5 years is 17%.

Of course, at this point we are all praying for a miracle.  We all truly believe (and have seen) God's miraculous healing's, so that is what we are praying for now.

What amazes me - is how strong she is.  She is her usual chipper and happy self and she says that she is going to be optimistic and trust in God - even if the doctors are being pessimistic. 

I believe and I'm praying for a miracle - but at the same time, it just isn't fair.  Peyton needs to have his grandma as he grows up.  Eric still needs his mom.  We were supposed to get to spend many more years with her.  If something happened to her soon, Peyton wouldn't even remember her.  And what about our next child - will she ever get to hold him/her?  Of course, I'm trying to not think those negative thoughts - but it is hard.  I'm scared, so scared.

So today was no fun.  Today I had to tell Eric that his mom had terminal cancer - and then we went to see his brother and tell them.  Eric took it pretty well considering, and visiting with Paula and getting to see her and her positive attitude really helped.  But he is going to have his moments - and so am I.  We already are. 

Scared

Today is the day Eric's mom goes in for her first chemo treatment.  Eric's sister is going with him to ask the doctor more details and get more specifics on Paula's cancer and find out what the plan for treatment is.  I did some reading up on Lung Cancer - and it is really scary.  It is one of the worst cancers to have, and one of the hardest to beat.  Lung cancer is very rarely caught in the early stages, and since they told her they couldn't operate - from the reading I'm doing I have a feeling it is stage 3 or 4.  I'm just scared.  Today is going to be another rough day.

The things I'm praying for hard right now are:

1.  For Paula to have a miracle and be healed - and live a long happy life.

2.  For this to bring the family back together.  We have one brother that doesn't come around the family at all...so I pray that this will heal all of our relationships with him and his family.

3.  For our one brother-in-law that isn't saved to become a Christian.  He is closest with Paula than anyone else in the family, and I hope that he comes to Christ and starts praying and believing through all of this.

Black Friday 2008

Yes, I did go shopping.  Yes, I did get up at 4 AM.  4 AM!  And yes, I did score a few deals, but really - I should have just stayed home this year as I scored this - on Amazon.com at 4:05 that morning.  They went on sale at 12AM PST, so for us on the east coast that is 4AM.  And lucky for me, I had signed up for Amazon texting service, so they would text me as soon as one/it became available.  AND I paid the same price as I would have if I would have stood in line at Walmart for HOURS. 

However, I did still go to walmart to get a few deals.  I did go a little overboard though - so about $100 worth of stuff is going back.  Actually, I realized that I really didn't want to give some of the kids the gifts I got, and that I could have gotten them something that they would really like (hopefully) for not that much more...

This was the big score of the day:

And this was the icing on the cake:

Then I went a little crazy and bought 4 games, 2 'classic' wireless remotes, and the remotes that go with the sports.  Now we cannot go grocery shopping for 2 weeks - oh well - we should have plenty to eat here in the house, and it will be worth the sacrifice.  Oh, btw - I did purchase the Wii console with my profits from my Uppercase Living sales, I'm so proud of myself.  However, that 'extra' account is now empty.  Time to have some more parties I guess...but without that extra money - purchasing the wii would have been too far out of our budget this year.  So for that, I'm thankful!