Shot thru the Heart

I'm officially back on birth control. It has been over 3 years since I've used bc - and this time I tried a different method - the Depo shot. I have always gotten horrible migraines on the pill, especially around ovulation and a few days before AF would show - so I stopped bc pills and started temping and charting using the family planning method for awhile. But considering that I have a 8 week old, the 'chance' that it 'might' happen just isn't going to cut it. So, I didn't want the pill b/c of my migraines but I wanted SOMETHING and the depo shot seemed like the perfect fit. I'll get the shot once every 3 months and I should be fine. And the shot only cost $10. My pills cost $25 every month - so that was a nice surprise.

So today I go in to get the first shot, but before they would give it to me I had to get a pregnancy test. During the 5 minutes it took to get the test done and million things were flowing through my mind. What if? What if? I think I would have passed out right there in the waiting room. Luckily everything was just fine and dandy. Whew...I couldn't imagine having another baby so soon.

Which brings up the issue that I'm already starting to throw around in my head. WHEN? I'm the kind of gal that likes to have plans. Now, I don't always stick to my plans, but at least I have an idea. I'm so torn between having my kids close together or having them far apart. By close, I mean about 2 years difference, farther apart would be 3-4 years. There are such good arguements for both sides. I want my kids to be close to eachother so they can be great friends and go to school together and play sports together, etc - but then I worry about the costs of daycare and college and everything else if they were that close. Eric seems to want to have them close, but he isn't too sure either.

This really isn't a decision that has to be made immediately - and I'm sure once we 'think' we have a plan everything will change, but it is something that is already on my mind.