Hurting for my dad.

This time of the year is always hard for some people. People that have lost loved ones over the year, people that have financial problems, and the list goes on and on. Well, this time of the year (along with most holiday's) is very hard on my Dad. My heart just hurts for him because he brings so much sadness on himself. He has lost so much since my parents divorce, but he doesn't realize what all he still has. I miss my 'old' Dad. The one that I get to see when we go to visit him in Ellijay. The Dad that we go camping with and the Dad that I had growing up.

I think I mentioned before that my Dad was back in rehab. The place he is at is where he got so much better a few years ago. He went almost a full year before relapsing this time, so I'm really hoping that he gets what he needs there again. But I'm so scared that this cycle is never going to end at the same time. I don't get my hopes up anymore because he has broken them so many times, but I can't give up faith. I can't stop praying for him to get healed.

But I'm hurting for him today, and definitely tomorrow, because he is missing out on so many things with us all. He is missing out on Christmas this year, he missed Christmas and Thanksgiving last year, and all the other things that he misses because he cannot live here. He will never be able to live here. Which is sad, but I would rather have a Dad that is living a good, drugfree life 3-4 hours away then the Dad that I have had on and off for the past 5 years - who was hooked on drugs.

I really think that I'm going to have to make a trip to go see him. I need to show him my support and that I believe in him. I haven't talked to him in over a month and I'm missing him. I know that most of our talks are about me paying his bills and such - but I still miss him. I pray that he is going to get better - better for himself and for all of us.