Last night

Last night I had a good cry. It has been quite awhile since I have cried, because I really have so many good things going on in my life right now. But, I've talked before about being a little overweight. Well, the ONLY pair of jeans that I have left that fit are getting really worn. Little holes are popping up everywhere, especially around the back pockets and crotch area, you know, all the usual spots that wear. So, I decide I'm not going to buy any more new 'regular' clothes, I'm just going to start buying maternity pants b/c it says that they are 0-9 months on some.

So I go to Target. One of my favorite places! First off, I'm a 16 or 18 depending on the cut, and of course, they didn't have anything over 16, and just a few styles had 16's. They didn't have plus size maternity clothes, but I should have been able to wear some of the 16's. Well, two pairs were skin tight, and I'm just NOT a skin tight pants kinda gal. I never have been. I like my pants to be loose, not baggy, I guess I could say relaxed fit. Although I do wear boot-cut stuff, which is somewhat snug in the thighs, but once again, not skin tight. Okay, I've gotten off track. I did like 2 of the 4 pair of clothes that I tried on, if they would have just had them in a size 18 I would have bought them. I did notice that they were all super comfy though.

After Target, I did go by Goodwill. It is a different Goodwill than the one that I go to all the time, and it is right across from the mall and beside Target, so they always have great store donations. The maternity sections at the goodwill are VERY limited. And the stuff that was from Target was horrid, but they did have an Old Navy Polo shirt. So, I got that, and the trip wasn't completely lost. However, I could feel myself getting upset...I didn't even stop for ice cream on the way home like I had originally planned to do.

Get home, and try to tell Eric that I couldn't find anything. He says *NOTHING* in a man kind of way, and about that time, I'm struggling to hold back tears. I go to the room, sit on the bed, and just start crying. He comes in, makes me feel better, then says that he will start making it a priority to go to the gym with me. I'm not trying to lose weight, but I do need to stay very active to try and keep weight lifting (moderately of course).

After our talk, I take a bubble bath. I LOVE taking baths, and bubble baths are even better. I read magazines and books while I'm in there, and just soak for about 30 minutes whenever I'm in the mood. Last night was definitely a good time to soak for awhile. The only thing about the baths is that they are not hot enough. I can't take a *normal* Natalie bath b/c the water would be too hot for the baby. But, they are still okay. Especially when I can turn on the jets to massage my back.

And then I went to bed. I read for about 30 minutes, and then fell asleep. It was one of the best nights of sleep I have had in a LONG time. Only woke up once to go to the bathroom, and then slept till the alarm went off. Lately, I have been waking up sometime around 4-ish, and not being able to go back to sleep for over an hour, but not last night.

Today I'm going to go online and order some pants/jeans/capris. Hopefully something will fit when they get here!!